Buying the Space Farm
by Afroz
Summary: What was the stellar crew of the Enterprise thinking when their Captain breathed his last? This is that fic with all their POVs. Spock, Scotty, Sulu, Uhura, McCoy and Kirk POV. No slash. COMPLETE. Edit: Now Revised 10/10/2016
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I came up with this one when I saw STID again after a long time and my muse highly recommended that I publish this. It's a Spock's POV of the warp core chamber scene in STID. *sniffles*. That is one epic scene in the film and it moved me to tears... again. Basically, I know this has been done before, but I just wanted to see how well I can write Spock, seeing as he's one tough guy to write. On with the story!**

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 **Disclaimer: Don't own anything, period.**

 **Title: Buying the Space Farm**

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"It's a miracle" the lieutenant in place of Ensign Chekov said. _Miracles are unreasonable, illusionary events that are believed commonly by humans in the event of an unexplainable mystery. There are no such things as miracles,_ I involuntary remembered from my education when I had been in Vulcan. Thoughts flew by in my mind as I wondered about the possible explanation of how the ship had been saved.

"There are no such things" I said, just as the comm beeped. "Mr. Spock" came the heavily accented voice of Mr. Scott as I acknowledged him.

"Mr. Scott"

"Sir, you better get down here, better hurry."

I had never heard Engineer Scott sound anything other than cheerful or foul-mouthed. This was neither and it immediately 'set my alarm bells ringing' as the humans say. If Mr. Scott was serious, it had to do something with the Captain as I had already come up with a possible explanation for this "miracle". I hoped it was never true. How wrong I was!

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I ran, pushing aside Nyota. There would be time for apologies later. I ran faster than my normal pace during crises in the ship. The Commanding Officers never ran on the decks of the ship as it would indicate potential threat or likewise occurring in the vicinity. I could not bring myself to slow myself either. The Starfleet Code did not matter to me. I had to know where the Captain was.

I came to a stop in front of Mr. Scott. I searched his face for answers, but I already knew that something was wrong, for the Engineer's face betrayed him. I could almost feel the sadness emanating from him. He shook his head and I headed past him to the door that led to the primary warp core. My worst fears were confirmed as I stood staring at a man lying on the feet of the door, eyes closed.

"Open it!" I ordered when he replied "The decontamination process is not complete. You'd flood the whole compartment. The door's locked, sir."

I could feel my stomach dropping to the floor, an expression I only now realize as accurate, and the hard realization hit me with absoluteness. In a few minutes, James T. Kirk would be dead.

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I sank to the ground to get a closer look at him. The red warning lights reflected off his face as he lay sweating, exhausted to his bones. Slowly, _too slowly_ , he lifted his hand to pull the lever that would close the inner door of the chamber and start the decontamination process, dropping his hand as soon as he did. I tried to stop his hand from falling but I was deterred by the triple reinforced glass door that stood between us. I watched as the Captain sank a little further down, heaving.

I wanted to call out to him, but I was afraid that he was already long gone to someplace else. So I could do nothing but look at him, the Captain, _Jim Kirk_ , the man who he was destined to be friends with. I was quite startled by that thought as it occurred to me, and yet I knew it could never have been truer. But I could already feel it all fade away into non-existence - all the times that I could have shared with him was now nothing but a forgotten memory, a bleak future.

As I kept gazing into the face of my friend (the realization still jarred my senses) I noticed that his eyes were half-closed. I found myself irrationally wishing for him to open his eyes so I could get one last glimpse of his other-worldly blue eyes again. Almost immediately, Jim's eyes fluttered open as if he could sense my presence and he blearily searched for something, _somebody_ to hold on to. His eyes rested upon me and his wandering eyes ceased. He tried to talk and it seemed too difficult for him. Nevertheless, he did as he asked for the one question that he always asked during times of crises. "How's our ship?" he asked with labored breaths.

I could already remember vividly, the many times he had asked the same question. I could remember all the cryptic remarks I made to him, both intentionally and unintentionally. I hopelessly searched my memory for one time that I had been a good friend to him but I knew it was in vain. I had never wanted to get to know him further than I already did; he was always a constant in the future that I had envisioned for myself. I had projected for myself many more years to serve under this man. I now have only a mere couple of minutes with him and I am certain that it is too short a time to remedy my relationship with him – more than close acquaintances but never really a friend.

As my mind wandered through unfinished thoughts, I found myself involuntarily answer his question. "Out of danger" I replied and I was surprised to hear my usually calm, steady voice wavering. Steadying myself, I said "You saved the crew" unable to imagine the sacrifice this human had made.

He did not reply or acknowledge my statement, but went on "You used what he wanted against him. That's a nice move."

What was my tactical move that bought us time in comparison to his sacrifice? Insignificant, I am certain, though I doubt he would agree.

"It is what you would have done" I had to say to him, that I looked up to him for inspiration even when I was technically more qualified than him. I looked up to his vigor and passion, that is as much needed in command, as intelligence and tactics.

"And this, this is what you would've done. It was only logical" he said.

If it was what I would have done, why did not I do it? It was definitely a logical move, I agreed, but I had been certain that the circumstances would not become as dire. I had channelled Kirk as I tried to think like him, to find the third option - another way out.

I looked into his sapphire eyes, noticing a hint of raw fear. "I'm scared, Spock" he whispered, and the words tore at my heart. I had never felt such unexplainable sadness or fear on hearing two words. It was a phrase I had never imagined coming out of him, of all people. But, of course, no matter how great Captain Kirk is, he is but a human.

"Help me not be. How do you choose not to feel?" he asked, his voice pleading, to know my supposed secret. The sight reminded me of the previous night when Admiral Pike had died and Jim had shown such open grief that I had never witnessed before. The thought that Jim was suffering alone now, clawed at my heart and I wanted nothing but to help him. I longed to touch him, to comfort him with touch rather than words – my mother's preferred way of comforting me. I found it hard to breathe as I forgot to take in air into my lungs. My shoulders shook as I tried to rein in my emotions – I had never felt so close to breaking down. I searched for the words to phrase my answer, though I was sure it could be of no help to him anyway.

"I do not know. Right now I am failing" I answered him truthfully, hoping it would satisfy him.

"I want you to know why I couldn't let you die, why I came back for you…"

He did not have to say, because I already knew I was listening to the last words of the one person who would have stood by me till the end.

"Because you are my friend" I said as unbidden to me, I let loose a tear and he shook his head lightly, satisfied that I had acknowledged the truth.

I had never cried before in front of anyone. The one time that I did was when my mother died and I was in the privacy of my quarters. I couldn't help myself from shedding tears for the woman who gave birth to me, who was the one person who had been there from the beginning of my life, who always supported my decisions. That I was crying in front of Jim of all people, in itself, was enough to make my grief all-consuming. It sealed the very idea that Jim was going to leave me forever and that I was never going to see his smile the first thing as I entered the Bridge during the Alpha shift or how I would never witness him and Doctor McCoy squabbling over random facts.

Jim tried to say something, but his voice failed him. He seemed aware of his failing sense of speech and tried to reach out to me, his hands resting on the glass door. I raised my hand to salute him in the Vulcan way, when I noticed my hands trembling. I rested my hands on the warm glass, shaping my fingers in the Vulcan salute as I waited for him to respond. His hands slowly slid across the glass to form the salute, both of our hands mirroring each other as I looked up again at his face.

He was smiling; not his usual arrogant smirk that never failed to light up the room, but a very subdued smile hinted at his lips as they quivered to hold the smile in place.

He looked at me, a long look that felt like my heart was in the open for him to see. I drank the sight of his eyes, his face and features arranged in the smile. It would truly be the last time I saw him so alive.

Slowly, his eyes lost the glow that was always the most unique ones in the room. His pupils dilated and his eyes focused somewhere behind my face, his hands sliding down the glass door, unable to be supported.

I wasn't aware that I sucked a breath. It was over. My Captain, my _friend_ , the one person who I could never imagine dying, was lying dead five inches away from me, separated by a glass door. He was no more.

Why? Why was I destined to meet you? Why did I have to know you for such a short time only to lose you forever? Why did I have to lose the two people I depended on most in less than a year? Why did you die before I even got to know you?

And then, the answer came to me, as surely as the sun rises every morning. That beast was the reason why. That monster was the reason why my friend had to suffer a painful death. I will make him pay. I will show him what a Vulcan is capable of. I will break his bones. I will kill him. "Khaaaaan!"

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 **A/N: Leave me reviews if you enjoyed it or if you want another chapter or something. I might be able to publish one more if I have the time. See y'all soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks a lot for the wonderful reviews sassyfriend, lanteaddicted and amalia. That's what spurred me into action to come up with this. Also thanks to my favoriters and followers. You're not forgotten ;)**

 **Scotty's POV**

"What do you think you're doing? That door is there to stop us from getting irradiated. We'd be dead before we made the climb!" I yelled at the asshole Cap'n. What was he thinking? Waltz into the warp core chamber? Was he out of his mind? Wasnae he some genius kid in the Academy? Why couldnae his wee brain understand that opening the door meant instant death?

"You're not making the climb" the solemn voice was the last thing I 'eard before I crumpled to the floor, unconscious.

oOo

The first thing I noticed when I came around was that I was sitting on a chair and the pleasant vibration on the ground which could only mean My Lady was safe. And then, I felt something tight holding on to me. Who the 'ell was sleeping on me when I was asleep? Don' this lad have some sense of personal space?

I blinked my eyes open and my vision adjusted. Oh! Not someone, but something. The seat belt was holding me firmly in place and I wondered how I came to be unconscious on the seat with the belt on.

And then, I remembered.

Memories flashed through my mind of my lady hurtling through space towards Earth. Power failures, unidentifiable floor-to-ceiling rolls and lastly the fool ass Cap'n punching the daylights outta me and…

 _No!_ How long was I out? I hurriedly turned off the seat belt and sprinted towards the warp core chamber. I stopped frozen when I saw _him_. He was slumped near the door; sweat drenching his clothes, his face looked red as if they'd been burnt. His eyes were almost closed and I quickly feared the worst. Was he the reason why the Enterprise is safe and sound now?

"Cap'n!" I yelled as I knelt next to the door at his eye-level. "Hold on sir, I'll open the door now!" I said and made to get up when a feeble voice protested. "No!" he rasped.

I stopped waiting for him to speak. "No" he said again "The radiation… needs to be contained" he said slowly, his breathing labored.

"But, sir…" I began when he interrupted me.

"That's…an order" he said gasping between breaths.

I choked on my own tears. There he was, the bravest man I knew, subjected to the most painful death and I could do nothing. I wanted to help him, _ease him_ in any way I could, but I didn't have words to comfort a dying man.

He saved me from talking and said "Get… Spock" he whispered.

I nodded "Aye sir" making sure to get as much respect and admiration I held about him show through my voice.

I took out my communicator and said "Engineering to Bridge" wondering how to break the news to the Commander.

"Mr. Scott" came the curt voice of the Commander.

"Mr. Spock, you better get down here, better hurry" I said and closed the communicator. All that was left to do now was wait as I watched my Cap'n in the chamber.

oOo

Mr. Spock came zooming in at full speed and I felt a rush of respect for the man. He had already sensed that something was wrong. He looked at me with his very human eyes inquisitively though his facial muscles hadn't moved an inch. I shook my head and looked towards the Cap'n, letting unspoken words explain the situation.

Mr. Spock walked almost dumbly as if he was looking at something for the first time. I couldn't blame him.

He took one look at the Cap'n and ordered me "Open it!"

How I wanted to! But I had to obey the last order my Cap'n would ever give me.

"The decontamination process is not complete. You'd flood the whole compartment. The door's locked sir" I said, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible.

I watched as Mr. Spock sunk to the ground and looked at the Cap'n longing to be next to him.

oOo

I had never realized the amount of respect and affection the two had had for each other. They were always at each other's throats and nobody could have hazarded a guess that the two were friends. Although, it seemed as much of a realization for them as it did to me. The admission made by the Commander with tearful eyes froze my lungs as tears filled my eyes too.

I watched unable to do anything as my Cap'n faded away from existence.

Just then I heard the sound of running feet and Lt. Uhura came to a stop beside me. She looked at them and gasped on seeing the Cap'n and put up a hand to cover her mouth as she cried silently.

Our Cap'n was indeed going to be sorely missed by a lot of people, including me.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This is dedicated to sassyfriend. And your other request is on its way too!**

 **lanteaddicted: Your request will be the last chapter. Pretty obvious of course! ;)**

 **Thanks to all the kind souls who followed, favorited and reviewed.**

 **Sulu's POV**

"If we don't get power or shields back online, we're gonna be incinerated on re-entry!" I said, my own words causing my stomach to flip in fear. There were just about a couple of minutes left before the Enterprise entered the Earth's atmosphere and followed on its way to crash into Earth.

I recalled Commander Spock's offer for us all to abandon the ship as he piloted the Enterprise alone to his death. I was never going to leave such a good man as him to that fate. I stand by my decision to go down with the ship and die trying to save her. But that did not stop my mind from racing with memories of all the good times I've had, all the good people I've met and the grave conclusion that all was going to be over in a matter of seconds.

I tried my utmost to re-route any and all power to the main systems, but I watched in vain as the numbers dropped far too quicker than I could breathe and shut down. The outer hull was burning up as we entered into the Earth's atmosphere. It was impossible to come alive out of this. All I could do was wait.

And then, miraculously, the warp core came back online. I announced the same as I did what I was seldom prepared for in my short career in Starfleet. I had to re-route the boatload of power to the thrusters and that too in fifteen seconds! I have no idea how I managed to be so calm as I did that.

"Thrusters at maximum. Stand by! Stand by!" I yelled as the Enterprise hurtled closer to land. In five seconds, the thrusters were able to carry the Enterprise up again and I couldn't help the relieved sigh I let out. "Mr. Spock, altitude stabilizing" I announced as another lieutenant said "It's a miracle".

I heard the Commander murmur in response "There is no such thing" when Mr. Scott commed us and asked for Mr. Spock. The tone of his voice and the dawning realization on Commander Spock's face as he raced off was enough to arouse my suspicion. That's when I wondered 'How did the power come back online?'

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About two minutes after Mr. Spock's departure, news reached the bridge. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It sounded downright impossible. Nevertheless, it was the truth as Mr. Scott would never joke with a matter of such importance as the Captain's life. The entire bridge was silent. Nobody broke the silence, but continued on with their work as they kept track of the USS Vengeance's progress and watched as it crash-landed into San Francisco.

Just then, Mr. Spock _stormed_ into the bridge and that wasn't a word I would ever have associated with him. And yet, it was apt as I had never seen him so _furious?_ Scratch that, I had never seen him show any emotion for godssake.

He ordered "Search the enemy ship for signs of life". I had to contain my surprise on hearing his voice. It hitched as he spoke and I was certain that something more had happened down in Engineering. "Sir, there's no way anyone survived" I said.

"He could" Commander Spock said with such venom, I could have mistaken him for a Human.

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Mr. Spock was beamed down as per his command and the bridge of the Enterprise watched in silent contemplation, their future. What were we going to do without our Captain?

I have served under only two captains, and one of them was captain for only a day. That made only one captain that he had served under so far, and his death was a huge blow to me. And he wasn't just any captain. He was James T. Kirk.

I looked up to him as my role-model. I learned from his outstanding captaining ability and tried to emulate his leadership. I had always felt so lucky to observe him in close quarters and learn from him. More than everything, he was a good friend to me and saved my life on multiple occasions. I had never imagined that he would be out of my life, just as it seemed to be beginning. I felt like the world was simply unfair, to rob me off the two authority figures I had looked up to in such a short time.

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 **A/N: Leave me reviews!**

 **Next up: Uhura's POV**


	4. Chapter 4

**Uhura's POV**

Red emergency lights lit up throughout the corridors as sirens wailed around me. The Enterprise was in danger.

I was standing near a wing of the Medbay. As soon as Spock had had a chat with Old Spock (alternate Spock, Spock Prime? – _whatever!_ ) I had accompanied Doctor McCoy to the Medbay to help him with the torpedoes as Doctor Marcus was on board the Vengeance.

Though I had little to no knowledge about torpedoes, Doctor McCoy had requested for me as I had currently nothing important to do and also, all the medical personnel had their hands full with injured crewmen flooding in from the bulkhead breach that the Vengeance had created.

Just as soon as I had guided Doctor Marcus to the Medbay, I tried to make my way to the bridge but all I could see was red as the power went offline. Crewmen ran frantically around me as they tried to make way to their safety. I had only one goal: to get to the bridge.

I ran as fast as I could. But I was met with a major problem. The turbolifts were out of order!

Just when I thought of getting to my room instead to escape the chaos, the world tilted. The ground shifted to the left and it left me stumbling to my right. I tried to grab onto something but there was nothing for me to hold on to and I had to jog on the walls to maintain my balance.

I ran and came to a halt as the Enterprise did a full 360 degree turn. Metal handlebars ran up the length of the wall to a Jeffries tube and I immediately grabbed onto it. I felt my stomach drop as I went for an impromptu rollercoaster ride. When the Enterprise seemed to have righted again, I ran across the length of the corridor. Men and women ran past me to the evacuation shuttles in the hangar. I was caught among the throngs of people hurrying to the hangar and I had no choice but to move along with the crowd. Any hope was crushed as the shuttles fell off when the moorings snapped. We had nothing to escape from the falling ship.

I saw the group slightly parting ways for two people who were running towards the opposite side of the hangar that had plenty of staircases that led to the basement level - Engineering. The Captain and Commander Scott.

I tried to run after them, to understand what was happening. Clearly, something must have been desperately wrong in Engineering if the Captain himself had decided to get down here with the Enterprise's Chief Engineer. _Ex-Chief_ , she reminded herself subconsciously, though it was completely unnecessary. If _anyone_ had a chance of fixing the Enterprise, it had to be Commander Scott. The man could quite possibly be the Enterprise's lover for all the love he showed her.

The men and women were stranded, having no idea where to rush to safety. I shoved my way through them and tried to go after the two men, when the ship tilted again. I caught hold of a niche in the wall that had been there for nothing but aesthetic appeal. But it gave me a good purchase as I held onto it dearly with both my hands. My stomach dropped again and I heard myself screaming as my hands strained to hold on. I saw men and women falling down the corridor, but I couldn't reach out for I feared I might let go of the wall. The ground righted again and I stood up to find many people having held on the same way as I had done. But some crewmen had ben unfortunate as they had fallen to their deaths. I ran up to them, to help any of the injured. More men and women ran along with me as I helped a poor ensign who had broken her arm. She was sobbing and her breaths came out in shallow gasps. I asked her if she was okay when she replied between gasps "Chest… hurts, help me!"

I tried to comfort her "Let's get you to the Medbay. Come on!" and I hauled her up and put her good arm over my shoulder. We made our way slowly to the Medbay when the ship tumbled again. I pushed the Ensign to hold on to the rail of a short staircase and covered the Ensign's back with my body to prevent her from falling if she lost her grip of the rail. The ship tilted and we were more or less hanging from the now vertical rail. The ensign screamed, whether because she was scared or she was in pain, I didn't know. But I pressed my body flush against her and the rail, to keep her from falling down. It must have hurt her chest but I felt she could rather be in pain than altogether die.

The ship righted again. I was sick of all that tumbling and spinning.

I grabbed hold of her and quickened my pace as we headed to the Medbay. Medbay was flooded with the injured and even the dead. Red lights were all that functioned here too. The patients were all strapped down to the bio-bed, but the medical personnel could not be strapped down. They had to save lives and they had resorted to tying themselves to the bio-beds with something similar to handcuffs but made of fabric instead of metal.

Medical officers had removed their makeshift handcuffs to flit across the beds, attending to the injured and their handcuffs still hung from their wrists, ready to be used if needed again.

I ushered in the ensign when a Nurse grabbed hold of her and led her in. Voices ruled the hall as I heard officers calling for various supplies and giving instructions to nurses. The most distinct voice of them all was of Doctor McCoy's as he assessed the damages and managed the constant inflow of patients. Nurses hurried to obey his commands as he said them on the move.

"Clear the bio-beds 203, 206 and 207. We've lost them. Take them to the mortuary. I need a regen unit on bed 402. Ensign Harrows, you're fine now, you can go. Ensign Gene, over here" he said pointing towards the ensign whom I had brought with me.

A nurse pushed me out of her way as she brought in another patient and I decided to leave the Medbay. I could still feel my stomach dropping, so we were probably still earthbound. I steadied myself against the wall as I walked along the corridor. Suddenly, the ship's floor hummed louder and vibrated forcefully as I heard the engine's starting up. The falling had come to a stop and the lights came back and flooded the hallways.

As soon as I knew the power was back, I hurried to get to the bridge. I took the turbolift 1 to the bridge and just when the doors had opened, and I had gotten out, Spock pushed me out of his way and threw himself inside the turbolift, slamming his hand on the button panel. I could get only a glimpse of his face as the doors shut and I was alarmed by what I had seen. He looked _horrified_ and it was not the likes of the sliver of emotion that I had always been privy to. He was openly terrified of something, a sight which truly terrified _me_. I couldn't fathom the reason so I looked around the bridge quizzically. Everybody stared dumbly at the turbolift through which Spock had left as though they were quite unsure of what they had just seen. It was Sulu who caught my quizzical glare as he replied "Mr. Scott asked for him to come down to Engineering. It seemed very urgent, he asked for Mr. Spock to hurry."

"Where's the Captain?" I asked, the empty chair in the center a prominent sight to my eyes.

"I don't know. He never came back to the bridge after we beamed him from the Vengeance" Sulu said.

Suddenly, I could feel my pulse racing. My heart beat quickened and I felt nervous. My mind made the connection. Both the Captain and Mr. Scott had gone to Engineering. If Mr. Scott had made the call…something had happened to Kirk. Only that could be the reason why Spock had looked like that.

I slammed for the turbolift button and I jumped inside. I headed down to Engineering and the turbolift opened. The whole area was devoid of crewmembers who had probably been cleared off. I walked along the corridor, which was slightly eerie due to being very silent. "Silent" and "Engineering" were never associated with each other as Engineering always teemed with life, the heart of the ship. Now, the steady vibration from the ship's engines was all that could be heard.

I suddenly heard a deep murmur from afar and I ran towards the sound. I found myself coming to a halt near the entrance to the warp core. Lying just on the opposite side of the triple-reinforced glass door was Kirk, eyes wide as he stared unfocused into the distance. His left hand was outstretched and looked as if it had slid down the glass. And on the other side, crouched on the floor, both palms pressed to the door was Spock. And _god, he was crying_. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized that the Captain was gone. A sob broke through my lips and I held my hand to stifle myself. Tears flooded my eyes as Mr. Scott embraced me and I clung onto him.

My Captain was gone. Kirk, who had been an arrogant, dumb hick when I had first met him, had proved me wrong when he became the youngest Captain of the 'Fleet, of the flagship no less. I had thought he was riding on sheer luck, but he wormed his way into my good books when he proved to be a capable leader on more than one occasion. He had still been his arrogant self, but I had a good opinion of him, better than in my Academy days. Then, he broke the Prime Directive to save Spock's life, throwing his career out the window. I owed him for that.

But today, I had watched as he selflessly offered his life to Admiral Marcus to save his crew in return. I had been heartbroken when he had apologized to us for dooming us all. But I had never blamed him anyway. It wasn't his fault that the head of Starfleet turned out be a maniac hell-bent on war.

And now, he had saved us all for real, giving up his life. I couldn't stand the idea of the universe losing a good man such as him and I sobbed into Scotty's shirt. He rubbed my back soothingly when I heard him.

I tightened my hold on Scotty's shirt in fear as I heard Spock's roar of rage and fury. I looked up and saw as he stood up. "Get him out of there" Spock said, his voice hoarse and he turned and hurried out to the bridge.

I looked at Mr. Scott, who had tear tracks on his eyes as he stared at Kirk. A bing was heard from the console on my right and Mr. Scott turned towards it "Just fifteen seconds. Why couldn't you hold on until that Jimmy?" he mumbled sadly as he called up engineers to arrive with hazmat suits, a stretcher and a body bag. He hit a few buttons and then went to the warp core chamber and activated the door open.

As soon as the door opened, Kirk who had been slumped against slid to his side and I rushed to catch him. I laid him on the floor gently. I watched as men with hazmat suits arrived from my peripheral vision. I looked at him again. His iridescent blue eyes, that had always been the brightest blue in the room, lacked the luminescence that had left along with his soul. I looked at those brilliant eyes again one last time, before I gently closed them, my tears hitting his reddened cheek.

The men in hazmat suits arrived and Mr. Scott assisted them to put him on the stretcher. The sight of Kirk, broken and lifeless, tore my heart.

I couldn't stand there any longer for I wanted to comfort Spock so I rushed to the bridge, leaving Scotty to get Kirk to the Medbay.

I entered when I heard Spock asking the crew if they could beam up Khan.

I sympathized with him. Spock had lost his mother, his planet and now the one person who could call him a friend. I knew Spock always enjoyed spending time with Kirk and McCoy. I was happy for him. His girlfriend shouldn't be the only human acquaintance he had. If he had to live a normal life after so much loss, he had to make good connections with good people, who he could always count on. Spock had never considered anybody friend, but I know Kirk had. He would come to me sometimes grumbling about Spock and how I could stand him. It amazed me how I had always thought of Kirk and Spock as extreme opposites during my Academy days, but they went on to become best friends, or at least Kirk considered as such. Spock had never said it aloud, and I know it was that guilt manifesting into grief and rage for losing that one special person.

"…it may be possible to beam you down, sir" I heard Chekov say.

Spock turned to look at me, silently asking for permission this time, after that talk we had had on our way to Kronos. Though, now, he looked like he didn't need one anyway. He was going to hunt that man and tear him limb from limb, permission from me be damned. I was worried that he was going to go up against Khan, but I would be more worried if he _didn't_ go after Khan after the loss of his best friend. Hell, I wanted that bastard dead too anyway. "Go get him" was what I could say, encouragement coloring my voice. He looked at me for a second, his eyes in silent thanks, before he rushed out of the bridge. I felt sorry for that bastard, Khan. He didn't know what was coming for him.


	5. Chapter 5

**McCoy's POV**

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Lights flooded the Medbay as the Enterprise stopped in its downward descent to Earth. I could feel the ship floating up again and I had never been more thankful that the ship was flying right now.

Most of the injured crew had dealt with broken bones and the regen units took only from half to one hour. Only a few had internal bleeding or cuts and lacerations that the nurses dealt with currently. I discharged a healed patient and moved on to the next when the Medbay doors hissed open. I didn't chance a glance at it first, but when I heard a few gasps I stopped and turned around.

Two men in hazmat suits pushed in a stretcher that carried a body bag, followed by Mr. Scott.

I said hurriedly, "Mr. Scott, we're diverting casualties to Deck 5, there isn't enough space…"

"Doctor…" Scotty said almost apologetically and proceeded to direct his men to move the stretcher to the empty space in the centre of the Medbay. Doctors, nurses and specialists alike stopped and turned to stare at the sudden silence that engulfed the Medbay.

I wasn't aware I had stopped whatever I was doing. I knew something was terribly wrong from the look on Scotty's face and felt fear creep up. Was it someone close to Scotty?

Panic welled inside me as I asked Scotty, almost dreading his answer, "Who is it?"

Tears glistened in Scotty's eyes as he looked heart-broken, "It's the Cap'n. He went into the warp core and saved us."

My blood froze when I heard that as I looked down again at the zipped up body bag. My hands shook as I unzipped the body bag to peek a look inside.

I am sure my heart had stopped when I saw him inside. It was bloody well Jim, still, unmoving and looking so damn _peaceful_ that I felt tears cloud my eyes. I didn't want to show weakness in front of my staff so I walked away dumbly and my weak legs found a chair. I put my trembling hands to my face, unable to process the fact that Jim was gone. He'd gone into the warp core which meant he'd died of radiation poisoning. He'd read about how radiation was the worst way to die during his pre-med days. Had Jim really been through that and ended up looking so _damn serene_? What was I going to do without him now? I had no one to look after and I might as well not exist either.

A purring emanated from my left as I looked up at the dead tribble seemingly alive. _It was alive! How? Khan's blood._ A bulb lit up in my head. _Why not use the same on Jim? What would I need to – No! The first thing I need is_ "Get me a cryotube, _now!_ "

My mind worked a hundred miles a minute going over what was needed to be done. I had no time to think as I rushed to prepare him for cryogenic freezing. I was not letting go of him that easy. I put a hand on the side of his face and I was met with cold flesh. _You better still be in there, Jim._

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 **A/N: I know, it's a small chapter. But I couldn't fit in too many thoughts as the movie doesn't wait for McCoy to feel grief. He's moving at warp speed to bring him back to life, I'm sure he couldn't have thought much of the consequences of how Jim's death would affect him. Any and all of his grief must have been during the two weeks when Jim was in SF Medical. And Bones' grief has already been dealt with in too many other fanfictions for me to do justice. Check out** _ **The Other Side of Darkness**_ **by** _ **Inhoe Publishing**_ **if you haven't already. I've read it thrice and it still moves me.**

 _ **As a sorry for a small chapter, Jim's POV is up too!**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Kirk's POV**

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"The ship's dead, sir. She's gone"

 _Over my dead body._

"No, she's not"

I sprinted along the corridor to the warp core chamber. I wasn't thinking straight, I know, but my mind was fixed on one goal and one goal only, and we were running out of time. I didn't hear Scotty prattling along "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm going in" I said as I keyed in the Captain's override to open the chamber.

"…that door is there to keep us from getting irradiated. We'd be dead before we made the climb!"

I stopped what I was doing as I let that sink in. I wasn't going to let Scotty die because of the blunder I made of not listening to him in the first place. "You're not making the climb" and I landed a good strong punch on his face, instantly knocking him out. I dragged him over to an empty seat before I made my way to the chamber when I could feel the ground lurching beneath me. I remembered Scotty and I quickly made over to him to buckle him in.

I turned around and headed to the chamber yet again. I unlocked the secondary door that served as a shield from the radiation seeping to the entire ship and went inside unhesitatingly. I knew my body wouldn't allow me to go further if I stopped to think of the consequences. I opened the primary chamber door and was met with a blast of burning hot air. I stepped inside an oven, for there was no better word to describe it.

Heat, oppressing and unforgiving scalded my body as I ploughed on. The ship jolted underneath me and I had to go in on all fours. I couldn't keep my hands on one area for more than a second, my hands burned but without any visible damage to my skin.

I crawled out and I came before the looming structure of the heart of the ship. An alarm sounded somewhere as I considered the feat before me. It seemed almost impossible to climb when my vision had started to cloud around the edges. Sweat drenched my body to stave off the worst of the heat doing any damage to my internal organs, but it was only so long before they would eventually shut down.

I didn't have time to waste considering what I was going to do.

This is it.

This was going to be my legacy and I was damn well not going to go down for dying after getting inside the warp core and fainting before doing anything to save my ship.

I started the uphill climb and I felt my ship go for another round of somersaults. For a good ten seconds, it was quite easy to climb when the vertical climb had become horizontal, but the next ten seconds passed with me trying to climb the thing upside down. Blood rushed to my head and I felt nauseated. I stopped when I started to panic – I couldn't breathe well anymore. My breaths came out in painful gasps and I felt unconsciousness closing in on me ever so slowly. I had to do this quick.

The ship righted itself and I got to climbing again. My arms and legs burned both with the build-up of lactic acid in my muscles and also from the radiation. My body felt very much ready to quit, but that one small part of me that believed in no-win scenarios screamed for my attention – to not give up after coming this far. I held on to that as I made to the top. I searched for something to grab onto above me and got a good hold of the metal above as I swung my feet to slam the bottom part of the core into place.

The first hit jarred my bones and I could feel the whiplash up to my skull. The thing hadn't moved an inch. I tried again, and again, and again. After about six to seven kicks, I could feel the core creaking, straining under my force. That was good, because my arms were going to come out of my sockets anytime soon. I kicked again, with renewed energy when I saw that it was working and with one final kick, the thing jumped into place, a brilliant flash of blue the last thing I saw before I dissolved into darkness.

oOo

The vibrating floor awoke me as much as it soothed my aching body. My brain felt sluggish, slow to comprehend what I had done. The even humming of the engines could only mean one thing – _my ship was safe_. I had done it.

I wanted to lie on that floor forever but I knew I didn't have time. I wanted to get out of this place so I made my way to the entrance, disturbingly slow. I crumpled on the floor during my last few steps and I had to drag myself to get to the door.

Heat burned my body, my clothes not giving a lick of protection against the radiation. I felt nauseous as my abdomen ached unpleasantly and I put a hand on it to alleviate my pain. My head felt like being pounded by a sledgehammer in rhythm to my erring heart beat and I found the act of blinking too painful to continue. My arms and legs were like lead, weighing me down as I slowly tried to sit up.

I have always been used to pain; a broken nose, concussion or smashed ribs were as much a part of my weekly dosage. But this, _this_ was too much.

I tried to catalog my various injuries that were unattended since dealing with Khan. I'd already sustained two hairline fractures on my ribs and my jaw from the number Khan had done on me. Not to mention minor fractures in my knuckles from punching that bastard's face on Kronos and severe bruises and minor lacerations from the fight that had ensued with the Klingons. I had been able to get on with that pain just fine but now they only added to my body's suffering altogether.

I tried to stop thinking of unpleasant thoughts that added to my pain when I noticed somebody crouch next to me. I looked out of the corner of my eyes and saw that it was Scotty. He looked frightened as he exclaimed "Cap'n!"

"Hold on sir, I'll open the door now!" he said and made to get up. I didn't want him to leave. I knew getting me out was quite useless. I could already feel my legs below my knees starting to numb

"No!" I said, which came out as a rasp. My throat was parched and I couldn't seem to produce enough saliva to moisten my mouth. I swallowed and said again "No, the radiation… needs to be contained". I felt my breathing become difficult as I tried to suck in oxygen slowly.

"But, sir…" Scotty protested. I cut him off "That's…an order"

I was already scared enough by my decision and I didn't want anybody making it difficult for me. I wanted to see Bones, to have him next to me. God knows, I was gonna miss him like hell. I couldn't imagine what he would do if I died. But having Bones next to me, making him suffer by watching me die would only kill me faster. No, I'd rather have Spock here. Maybe his calm demeanor was all I needed to face my fears.

I said to Scotty "Get… Spock" more like whispered.

He nodded and said "Aye Sir" with so much respect in his voice that I almost choked in the tears that threatened to fill my eyes.

He moved away as he spoke something inaudible into his comm unit. I felt myself drifting. I couldn't keep my eyes open; they begged to let themselves rest. Just when I felt like I had conceded to the request of my eyes, I could hear footfalls as it came closer. I saw a man standing just outside the chamber door but I couldn't lift my head to identify the newcomer. A voice hitched "Open it" and my eyes widened. Spock sounded… _human?_

I heard Scotty say with a slight tremble in his voice "The decontamination process is not complete. You'd flood the whole compartment. The door's locked sir."

 _Oh shit!_ How could I have forgotten that? I felt for the lever above my head on the wall and pulled it down to close the primary chamber door. A mild hiss could be heard as the decontamination process started and I gasped. My lungs were still burning, I didn't know how long I could do this, to fight death.

I turned sideways to see Spock crouched in front of me, looking too lost to look like a Vulcan. I immediately felt a pang of regret for having caused him sadness, one emotion I never wanted _him_ to feel, of all people. I wanted to console him, that it was alright, but the most pressing matter had to be gotten away with first.

"How's our ship?" I gasped out.

"Out of danger" he replied with a wavering voice, almost surprising himself. "You saved the crew."

Saved the crew? 'Led them to their deaths' would be the appropriate phrase. This was the first mission I had lost crewmates and not in single digits. I knew if I said this aloud, Spock would justify me, so I moved on "You used what he wanted against him. That's a nice move."

"It is what you would have done" he said simply.

"And this, this is what you would've done. It was only logical"

It was true. I was one hundred percent sure that if the roles had been reversed, Spock would have done just the same. He had already demonstrated that in Nibiru, how he had fearlessly stood his ground to give up his life for a species that would never even know his name, let alone what he had done.

Why then was I scared for doing the same and for my crew no less? I felt ashamed, but I admitted it to the one person that I trusted, who would not find it wrong, for he had confessed that he had experienced the same fear on Nibiru.

"I'm scared, Spock. Help me not be… how do you choose not to feel?" I wanted to know his secret, how he could stand by and watch himself giving up his own life.

My heart ached when I saw I had hurt him with my words. Tears flooded Spock's eyes as he sniffed "I do not know" he said, perplexed himself "Right now, I am failing."

I was devastated when I heard him say that. Spock, his perpetually calm First Officer who never admitted to feeling was breaking down in front of me. I had always been intrigued about his emotional control. Hell, I had even tried to get a rise out of him just to make him admit to emotions for once. But I had _never_ wanted to see him like this in my life. I wanted to make amends, make him feel how valued he was in my eyes.

"I want you to know why I couldn't let you die, why I came back for you…" I said pausing to breathe. The numbness had crawled up to my abdomen now. I couldn't fathom if that was a blessing or a curse – I wasn't nauseous anymore and the terrible cramps and aches had fizzled out to nothing.

I didn't have to continue anyway as Spock said "Because you are my friend" and a single tear rolled down his eye. I felt a pleasant warmth spread through my body (the parts I could still feel anyway) and I realized it was subdued elation. I was overjoyed that he had finally realized it when he had never admitted to it for so long. But my body was in no condition to whoop and jump so I settled for a slow nod of my head.

I wanted to tell him how sorry I was for putting him through these emotions, but no sound escaped my lips. I gasped for breath, and tried again to no avail. The numbness crept up to my chest and I knew my time was coming. I was so damn scared I wanted to hug somebody so hard, to tell me that it was going to be okay.

I reached out to Spock, and my hand met with the glass door. Oh, how I wish the door didn't exist between us right now!

But Spock too reached out and put a shaking hand to the glass. I realized he was forming the ta'al, a final display of respect. _Live long and prosper._ I felt amused at the irony; I couldn't help but smile a little. Spock looked up and looked at my face, searching, longing. I smiled, unable to believe how unbelievingly lucky I was to have him as my _friend_.

Almost, suddenly my whole body became numb, and I was aware of my dwindling heartbeat. My vision clouded and I felt the last lub and dub of my heart as it finally got a well-deserved break.

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 **A/N: And that's a wrap! Thank you all for the faves follows and reviews. Do tell me how you feel about the last two chapters. I love it when you guys share your views. Makes me a better writer. Also, my other story** _ **The Massacre**_ **will see an update this week.**


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